Being a Woman In Your 30s: Can We Have It All?

Women having a conversation in Brooklyn, New York.
Women having a conversation in Brooklyn, New York.

Yes, I know I am quoting Carrie Bradshaw, but I had to, and in a moment you are going to get why.

This is a personal open-heart letter to all those women from 30 to 39 that feel the pressure on their chest to have their entire life figured it out. You are not alone. I feel like no one talk to you about what it’s like to turn 30 and suddenly we are strike with the unpleasant feeling that all the decisions we make — or we don’t make — are monumental and irreversible. Nailing those adult milestones in your 30s feels much more significant, who on hell decided that?

I should have a promotion, I should get married, I should buy a house, I should have a child. My friends and I are constantly repeating those things in a loop. Because, let’s face it, when a woman turns 30 people expect her to have her life figured it out as it happens overnight.

Society enjoys telling us that there is a route you are supposed to follow. A life you are supposed to experience. What happens if you are not ready for those things at the age society decides? We worry. We feel a failure. We feel the pressure of our biological clock ticking. In the meantime, we keep showing our flawless life on social media.

Trust me, it doesn’t matter if you haven’t’ achieved all your goals by the time you turn 30, nothing is impossible now just because you left your 20s behind you. It’s ok if you are not doing the best sex of your life — because someone decides that you are in the right decade for that — keep exploring. You can still become whatever you want and get that position in your company. Yes, you can launch a company at 37, and you can have a baby too. Don’t punish yourself if you can’t picture yourself with nappies around your place, you hate the suburbs and still wants to live in a city at 35. It is hard to learn how to love yourself without feeling that you are not fulfilling someone else’s standards.

Yes, parents will still ask you when you are getting married, some friends will suggest you freezing your eggs ‘In case you change your mind’, doesn’t matter. In people heads, your 30s will always be that time of your life when you magically realize all your dreams, even though your dreams don’t involve marriage at all. Stop telling yourself you failed just because you can’t keep up with other people parameters on how to live a successful life.

Still don’t believe me? Arianna Huffington was 55 when she launched The Huffington Post. Tory Burch launched her fashion label at 38. Viola Devis received her first Academy Award nomination at 43. Anna Wintour was 39 when she became editor-in-chief at Vogue. So, who cares if you didn’t reach the crest of your career by the time you are 30th?

Yes, we are not thirty and flirty to quote a movie, but we can lift the pressure up for a bit and keep doing what we are doing because that is nothing wrong with it, and because things will fall in place, eventually.

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